Thoughts while watching 50 shades darker

I’m not a huge fan of these. I think they’re odd. The first one was a little corny and I laughed more than I thought “that’s hot” or what most women I guess got from it.

So, I decided to document my reactions while watching the second one for the first time. Spoilers are in there if you have not watched it already.

  1. How did the last one end again? Oh, yeah she was getting spanked or something.
  2. This one is starting with Christian having a nightmare…fitting?
  3. Oh, he sent her flowers.
  4. HA they can’t fit in the trash.
  5. This song though! Love it.
  6. Why does her boss and Christian have similar physically traits?
  7. “Oh, i’m supposed to get this for you” FAIL
  8. Is that her roommate? Who sends video messages?
  9. Oh, she thought that was Christian running.
  10. She misses the D.
  11. Boss is checking her outtttttt.
  12. That girl is judging her boss so hard hahaha
  13. Oh my…
  14. That’s her in those photos.
  15. That’s a lot of photos….
  16. “This is like so much of my face in here.”
  17. “They’re super…large.” hahaha
  18. Christian bought them I bet!
  19. There he is….
  20. Oh, Jamie Dornan you’re so pretty.
  21. “I don’t like strangers gawking at you.” I mean..that’s actually nice? I guess.
  22. “For you” That sounds more creepy than romantic.
  23. Just talk. Yeah okay.
  24. Why is she so awkward.
  25. Of course you would order something gross rather than a steak.
  26. Renegotiate terms…lord..
  27. I love how this was originally going to be “50 things while watching 50 Shades” and it just started and I’m at 27.
  28. HA HA the tension when the waiter is opening that wine.
  29. Fill in the blanks? There is a lot you could imagine with that little of details.
  30. You were asleep. Christian that’s not talking sweetie.
  31. Her teeth still bother me.
  32. Vanilla relationship. goodness.
  33. That’s some first “redate” kiss.
  34. Did she just say “your face is spiky…”
  35. He got her a computer and a iphone….
  36. Why are you looking at it like you’ve never seen a damn phone girl.
  37. “Laters baby” OMG HOW OLD ARE YOU!?
  38. Why is this HR lady weird.
  39. Why did that feel like a set up…
  40. Who’s this random girl?
  41. She looks a little terrifying.
  42. I feel like no one else is coming.
  43. Oh, there’s Christian.
  44. They seem to know each other.
  45. “I’m the boyfriend.”
  46. Did he intentionally call him Chris…like no..that’s not cute.
  47. He’s so territorial.
  48. HA HA Christian pushing a shopping cart.
  49. GOD why is she so corny.
  50. She wants the D…..
  51. or…the C (get it)
  52. She’s teasing the hell out of him.
  53. “You only have to ask.” “I think we should take it slow.” Girl you are sending mixed signals.
  54. Bosses bosses boss.
  55. Was she trying to hug him…?
  56. How the hell did they film this…..
  57. Like we just watched him take her underwear off…
  58. His poor wife. (In real life obviously)
  59. Kinky fuckery…
  60. Who the fuck
  61. Was that a ghost…
  62. or a dream…
  63. She looks like she is wearing makeup.
  64. It’s 24 thousand dollars.
  65. BITCH
  66. I’LL TAKE IT
  67. HA HA that’s not weird at all. How do you have her bank info homie??
  68. It’s that girl again.
  69. He looks concerned…
  70. That whole salon thing was weird.
  71. Oh shit.
  72. For her approval…
  73. OMG
  74. This is getting weird.
  75. He was about to carry her HA HA
  76. He has files on his old ladies.
  77. “she tried to slit her wrists here.”
  78. THE FUCK.
  79. He has a file on her too…
  80. That view though.
  81. They had sex once and he is already getting weird again.
  82. “Sex is not going to fix this right now” LMAO
  83. What on earth..
  84. Lip stick…?
  85. What the fuck is this.
  86. He seemed nice.
  87. Her hair looks nice though.
  88. Girl, don’t look at the price tags.
  89. Well..that’s subtle.
  90. “Yeah, I think I might.” good lorddddddd.
  91. The things actors do….
  93. Oh there’s green on that outfit. That’s cute.
  94. The little jokes in this are funny.
  95. His mask looks too big.
  96. HAHAHA she’s getting excited just sitting.
  97. “I have a lot of places.” I bet so.
  98. She wore her mask the entire way home… why
  99. So she was wearing that lingerie…and then decided against it?
  100. Is this Nick Jonas…
  101. Why is a Jonas brother singing while Christian is like weirdly spanking Anastasia…
  102. Oh, that is his room not hers. That makes sense.
  103. Who the heck. Why did he take a picture of that picture.
  104. Oh.. she’s the OG.
  105. This lady..
  106. You go girl! Tell her! Even is she may be right..
  107. That’s not home..
  108. What’s happening….
  109. Why did someone vandalize her car.
  110. If that bitch did that then she is cray cray.
  111. LMAO he still has lipstick on his chest?
  112. That’s some damn good lipstick.
  113. Why is this movie so corny. Like the acting is just…
  114. I hope he really loves her because this poor girl otherwise.
  115. The song on a boat just popped into my head.
  116. Christian you said you were 4….how do you remember something when you were 4.
  117. Sea widow jokes.
  118. Ah, Zayn and T Swift.
  119. Gah these views.
  120. Damn what got her boss in a knot.
  121. Expected my assistant attends…
  122. Well, that’s a dick comment “not like you need to work.”
  123. He looks mad.
  124. Gosh he is so controlling. Just NO.
  125. Why is she looking around like she’s never been there.
  126. She’s probably had sex on that floor.
  127. Oh, the red room.
  128. What the heck is he putting on her pinky…
  129. Last time was different…how…
  130. HAHAHA “Mrs. Jones.”
  131. What kind of contraption is this..
  132. What the fuck.
  133. Again, how do they film this.
  134. This ownership shit again.
  135. Omg that looked painful. You can’t just flip a person with a leg bar thing.
  136. I just realized….where is his condom.
  137. All because she is saying she’s not going to New York.
  138. What the heck…
  139. Going the extra mile?
  140. I feel like he’s going to rape her…
  141. Girl…run…run now.
  142. Quit your job now.
  143. I knew this guy was a prick.
  145. “I know the CEO.”
  146. Girl just knocked it out the park!
  147. She’s gonna move in….
  148. That just took a different turn.
  149. How can no one see her taking off her underwear…
  150. Oh…the elevator scene from the previews.
  151. That’s slick HAHA
  152. How can no one hear her.
  153. I swear he breathes in her direction and she moans.
  154. I feel like someone is in her house.
  155. Someones just gonna jump out I bet.
  156. YEP!
  157. How does this girl keep getting in places.
  158. OMG.
  159. OH MY GOSH.
  160. He has a type though…(poor timing to mention that)
  161. OMG
  162. She shot it.
  163. Master…
  164. She’s been watching them…
  165. She looks so young.
  166. Damn she’s obedient.
  167. She needs a moment and I don’t blame her.
  168. This soundtrack though still.
  169. What is he doing…
  170. Why does he get so weird.
  171. Jamie you’re lucky you are cute because this is a odd character dude.
  172. I knew he had a mommy complex.
  173. He’s having a bad dream.
  175. How long have they even been a thing.
  176. Since he said that other girl was like two years ago..
  177. Holy shit he is fit.
  178. How the hell. That has to be a body double.
  179. HA HA “you didn’t wake up at all…?”
  180. His little jokes are kinda cute though. Good job movie peeps.
  181. So less than a year…because she didn’t know when his birthday was.
  182. Oh he’s growing out his beard.
  183. I feel like something bad is going to happen.
  184. Are they going to crash….
  185. They can’t die there is a third book.
  186. Oh, that’s Christian’s bro.
  187. Poor Anastasia.
  188. Awh…his mom.
  189. Shit he just walked in…just as they announced he’s alive and coming back to safety.
  190. Awh….okay this part isn’t corny.
  191. A keychain..
  192. AWH.
  193. That’s cute.
  194. “This whole time I had the answer in my pocket” That’s funny.
  195. Who showers with their clothes on…
  196. You just ruined her shirt dude.
  197. Why are these movies extra weird in the last 20 mins.
  198. Again… *Christian breathes* *Anastasia moans*
  199. I swear the previews made it seem like so much more darker.
  200. Good lord the help. Eye balling him.
  201. Why is she there!
  202. His mom’s good friend..
  203. “Ladies, gentleman, Mia.” Oh, brothers.
  204. Oh that one bitch is like “da fuck.”
  205. He’s gonna announce to the world that their engaged.
  206. “No rock.” I just love his sister.
  207. Oh my gosh this bitch.
  208. Tossing drinks and a slap!
  209. Oh, his mom is mad.
  210. Anastasia does look weirdly like his mom.
  211. “Are you?” “Nope.” Gah she’s like me.
  212. They are kinda cute sometimes.
  213. I bet the books are more intense then the movies.
  214. Oh my god is right that places is gorgeous.
  215. OMG!
  217. Fireworks really?
  218. Okay, this is too happy. Something has to happen.
  219. Oh shit, her boss?
  220. He looks fucked up.
  221. Why burn through Christians face in the pic?
  222. Wait, that’s how it ends?
  223. WHAT
  224. Stupid cliff hangers.

If you got this far make sure to let me know! Watermelon as always. 🙂


  1. princesadaya says:

    That was fun to read, made me want to watch the movie again haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lifessidebar says:

      Thank you! I had fun writing it 😊


  2. Just M.E. says:

    That was very funny to read!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lifessidebar says:

      Thank you! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Tony Burgess says:

    I feel like I just saw the Twitter transcripts of the movie. This was great.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lifessidebar says:

      Haha thank you! It was a fun piece to write as I watched. I may do one for the newest one.


Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s