Have you ever read lyrics that you relate to like 100%? Yes, it is an older song that I have listened to more times than I can count. However, at this point in time it fits 10000000%.
There are moments in life where you sit there and it is literally like that meme of the dog sitting in a room that is on fire and is just like “this is fine”.
For me, this past semester I had a lot of personal stuff go on. So personal that I will not openly speak about it (and I’m very open about a lot of personal stuff but some stuff is better left unsaid) and with my blog and Instagram I was just getting in the swing of things. Getting a schedule, posting, planning etc and when life gave me a dose of reality I had to take a step back. That is the one thing I cannot stand is the fake social media because life is not always perfect and no matter how many filters you use it is not going to change that.
If you are on my Instagram you may have noticed the lack of posts lately. I took time off from work and school as well to be honest so when I say I needed to take a step back…I meant like WAY back. School took a little hit but I still passed and it is what it is. Let me also say that everyone is okay.
There are times where you just need to not care about certain things but take the time to work on you and your mental health and overall well-being. Plus, aside from everything else I got a letter about my 6 month check up on my tumor. Which, as I write that I realize I never actually spoke about that on here…
Sidebar; I have a 2 inch benign tumor in my right breast in the deep tissue that I have to keep an eye on and at some point get it removed. We aren’t 100% certain how or why I developed one but we think it was my birth control and the hormones. So there is that, and then I have to get ultrasounds on my ovaries and see if I do indeed have endometriosis like my mom did because I’m starting to have the signs of it. Which, we have been preparing for since I was a teenager. Brandon and I have already discussed about all the “what if”s and we will cross the bridge when we get there. But, since I have had a kidney infection, issues upon issues with my lady bits with cysts and overall pain, and then my tumor within the last 5 and a half years….we basically had to have the discussion ya know.
I’ve had a love hate relationship with God over the last year (years really but it comes and goes) and I know what doesn’t kill you makes you a stronger person but fuck I’d like ya know…shit to go right.
Anywhoo, this was meant to be brief.
Happy notes, I have THREE yes THREE classes left and then I am done with my first degree. Next week I see my mom for the first time since LAST Christmas, and we are going to D.C. for two days. I got a new car, her name is Stella. Um, Sylvester is nice and big and happy. If you don’t know who that is….well you are missing out on fuzzy cuteness.
Just know that things can hit rock bottom and it is okay to need to take a breather and things can turn around over time. It is hard and you are going to want to scream until there is no more air in your lungs but you have to push through.