24.
Posted on April 14, 2019
It feels like it was just a month ago I graduated college and turned 24. Shit, it feels like I was just 23 blasting “What’s my age again?” over and over and…about as much as everyone (mostly everyone…) does at 23. There aren’t many songs after 23 that you can rage to about your age. T-Swift gave us 22, Blink 182 gave us 23…
ANYWAYS…
I did a previous post in August 2017 called 23 Things I’ve learned by 23 but the funny thing about this post….my outlook changed so much in like 2-3 more months about life and I look back and read that entry and think “oh sweetheart just wait..”
So, what I’ve decided to do is every year before my birthday write out things I’ve learned during that year. The “23 things” one would technically be about my life up to age 23 but….just roll with me here. There is about 2-3 more weeks until I turn 25 so…if shit hits the fan within these couple weeks that change up my thoughts…well fuck it.
- Do not think everything is always going to go “perfectly”. Because there are times where it’s all possibly just going to go to shit and you just have to roll with it. A major example: my 24th birthday last year, I graduated college the same day…needless to say that was the worst birthday I’ve ever had. I had it all in my head that it was going to be an awesome day. It was my birthday, I was about to walk across stage for something I had worked hard for, was going to a concert afterwards to see all my work friends and just celebrate the fuck out of life….ended up with me crying during my ceremony and going home after to an empty apartment with barely any furniture because we were moving and alone with Sylvester (my cat). One of my best friends stayed during the long ceremony because my at the time boyfriend did not show up and she didn’t want me to walk out to legitimately no one and then took me for a birthday dinner. I’m not saying go through life always half empty but I’m saying is not everything is perfect. I look back on that day and think about ways it could have been different but it was an important day that needed to be lived. It fucking SUCKED but…it was needed.
- Embrace change. Open your arms to a huge mass of change because you could be surprised as to how you’ll feel afterwards.
- Work hard. Getting promoted at 23 and then really having to step up to the plate this past year if I wanted something and then seeing the outcomes…is amazing. Just work hard if you want something because the end result usually makes you feel great.
- Take impromptu trips more often (even alone..) and trust yourself to be fine. Not going to elaborate but you can read Don’t leave the camera and take the blackberry cobbler for my experience with impromptu trips.
- Not everyone is your friend.
- READ THE FINE PRINT ON YOUR HEALTHCARE PLANS. Especially when your “year” is up. Fun fact: it’s not always January haha I had my lumpectomy in March 2018…found out my deductible started over…in May. So, yeah…read the details!
- Take moments to be proud of yourself but also take moments to celebrate your friends and their accomplishments or big life moments.
- Just because you live with someone does not mean you know everything about them. You could be living a foot away from them…and then find out there is an entire other side to them.
- Be patient. Life happens when you least expect it. (That’s the right corny saying right? I think so…) But it’s true.
- Work *clap emoji* on *clap emoji* your *clap emoji* mental*clap emoji* health*clap emoji* too! Physical health is great…however, work on your mental well-being as well. There is no shame in therapy.
- True friendships will survive the distance and time. Just because you don’t talk every day does not mean you’re not close friends.
- Hug your loved ones more. I think I said this in the 23 one but just do it. Last labor day we had a scare in my family and sitting in the hospital waiting to find out what was going to happen next was the most nerve racking thing ever.
- Don’t be afraid of roommates but also living alone is cool too.
- Treat yourself sometimes to “nicer” things if you can afford it. Since my 23 post I upgraded my car (love you Stella) and even now many months later I get in my Fiat 500 L and fall in love all over again. Best last minute (kind of) choice ever.
- Don’t be afraid to meet new people! Within the last year holy shit…I have some of the best people in my life and I really embraced branching out and not being such a hermit.
- Just because everyone else is having babies and getting married and you aren’t…does not mean that’s a bad thing. Again, be patient. Did you think you’d be married by 25? Yes. Is it okay that life happens and sometimes things change? Also yes. Did you think you’d have kids by 27? Yes. Are you? Probably not hahaha like HIGH probably not. It’s okay. Spoil your friends kids instead and be there for your friends who are getting married.
- It’s okay to take a step back on concentrate on work rather than a significant other.
- Saying goodbye never gets easier.
- Invest in decent skin care and hair care! It’s so worth it.
- When you find something you love…run with it. Don’t fear about being judged or people not enjoying the work you are doing. If you love it then do it. You’re doing it for you, not them.
- Life can surprise you with amazing chances that you never thought you’d have. So if you feel stuck just know that one moment can break the ice for you.
- It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to ask for help when needed.
- You don’t have to be the “perfect adult” not one at our age is the “perfect adult”. Most of us are just faking it until we figure out what the fuck we are doing. There was a time where I was so stressed about cooking dinner all the time or having the dishes done all the time. Life happens. Sometimes you get busy and work a ton and just do not have the time. It’s okay that you don’t have dinner done by 7pm.
- Lastly, stay true to you. Over the last year I realized how much of myself changed and how many people told me that it was nice to see the “old Hunter” back. You talk about a reflection on yourself.
Now most people I hear get worried or have like a “quarter life crisis” around 25. For me I’m like bring it on May 4th. I thought 24 was going to be awful based on how my actual 24th birthday went, and the first couple months of it were. They were just…yeah. But over all…from a personal standpoint (and if you have read my other posts etc) it was a monumental year.
25, I don’t have high hopes for you but I have moderately high hopes about life in general moving forward. The last couple month’s have been amazing and I know my age will not change anything aside that it’s just showing I’m aging.
I don’t have plans yet for the big 2.5. bday but if you want to check out what goes down you can follow @lifessidebar on instagram and see for yourself.
Go ahead and brush ya shoulders off..
Posted on January 31, 2019
The other day someone who I have not seen in forever made a comment that has stuck with me.
Paraphrasing but:
“I’m so glad you got out of that. I always felt like it brought you down when you’re a cool girl all on your own.”
You don’t think about things like that until someone points it out to you.
Year 24 I feel like has been a year of growth. I’m still working on myself. It’s going to take time but progress has been made for sure. I still have a couple months until I turn 25 (wait what…I feel like I just had a birthday…) but I feel like I aged more this year than any other fucking year of my life.
One adjustment is the whole being “alone” thing.
Why are we as humans so scared about being alone? At the end of the day you have yourself. Surprise surprise right? Only you can be responsible for you. You have to remember your self worth. Yes, have your breakdown nights where you drink too much and get emotional. Do that shit in moderation though because the next morning you wake up thinking “bitch, get a hold of yourself because you are awesome.”
Also… IT’S. OKAY. TO. CALL. YOURSELF. BITCH. it’s not always in a mean way. I do it all the time when I have to have a talk with myself.
Sometimes you need to have a talk with yourself. It’s not crazy believe me. You have to be your own cheerleader or that dude at games that pumps up the crowds and gets the people going.
Physical health is important but mental health is possibly even more. For real though. Lately, I have felt hypocritical if I’m honest. So this is a letter to whomever needs it as well as to myself.
You can get so down and so anxious that the only thing you want to do is stay in bed and binge watch Gilmore Girls or The Office until you pass out. As Lorelai Gilmore says in her most perfect way
“Get back in your pajamas, go to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza. Don’t take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of makeup at all. And just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow.”
Yas freaking queen. *insert those hallelujah emoji hands*
Once that’s done though, be the boss bitch you are and pick yourself back up. It’s okay to not be okay. It makes you human. If you didn’t have low moments I’d be a little worried about you.
For me personally, whenever I am stressed out or anxious I become the worst workaholic EVER. I will keep myself as busy as possible even if that means working insane hours to avoid having to just sit and be with myself. What’s that saying I hear the younger generations say? “Bish what?” Because legit bish what?? No. Like Steve Carell yelling no over and over. Just no. Because all that is going to do (and I say this from experience) is make you crash and burn one day and you’re going to look like an exhausted mess that starts crying and not realizing it because you’re so damned tired. (waves to herself as she was working a show in October…ha ha)
Basically ladies and gents…again it is okay to not be okay. Just don’t lose yourself in the process. Water yourself like you would a plant (also stay hydrated because that a legit issue too…I feel you on that). You’re going to grow daily. It’s okay if you’re not in the same place you were a month ago…shit even a day ago. So much can change in a day.
That’s all. I’ve gotten better about being more open about things. (Y’all seem to like it too so win?)
Okay, go be awesome.
Love, H
“Boss up and change your life.” – Lizzo
2018
Posted on January 1, 2019
I make the joke that 2018 was basically two years in one for me.
Because looking back on January 1, 2018 and yesterday (New Years Eve 2018) I don’t feel like the same person.
Everything in my life changed this year. Literally everything I was used to.
Last New Years I had bronchitis. I was extremely sick after wandering D.C. with a cold in 30-40° weather for two days. To me that should have been a sign that 2018 was going to be a shit show haha.
January, I gained a promotion in my job. (Yay!)
February, I found out I needed to have a lumpectomy for breast tumor Norma.
March, I had said surgery.
April 1st…was one of the worst days ever and the days following. Which led to us saying goodbye to one of our dogs.
May, I graduated from college and turned 24 (yay!) on the same day but was crying during my college graduation ceremony because my at the time boyfriend didn’t show up.
The end of May and June were both a blur for me personally. A lot of personal things changed and set the path for an even bigger change.
July, I ended a 6 year chapter of my life and basically started over.
From January to July I cried a lot. I was extremely depressed and I honestly didn’t realize how depressed I was until I ended everything. I had lost weight due to stress and basically chain smoking. I was drinking very heavily after I broke things off for about a month or almost two. I went out a lot more than before because I could. I felt numb. Like I didn’t really know what to do because it was like a huge weight was gone.
Then it was like a light switch.
I started laughing more. I started doing better at both jobs. I was able to concentrate more on me.
I started to feel happy again. My nightmares started to go away (that I had been having for about eight months) and I wasn’t waking up in the middle of the night panicked. Friends and family stated they saw a difference in my demeanor and just saw how happy I was overall.
I became more open to letting people in again. My coworkers and friends talked me into dating again because I was scared to. At first I was worried about what people would think. “Oh my gosh she moved on so fast!” “Oh wow it’s only been a couple months.” “She obviously didn’t love ______” the list went on in my head. Then those around me told me that the people who matter know everything and won’t judge me.
So I said fuck it. The support was overwhelming and it was actually wonderful.
When I say 2018 felt like two years it’s because one felt very dark and very lonely and the other one was a breath of fresh air and full of happiness and love. As corny as fuck as that sounds but literally I can’t think of anything bad that has happened since July for me. I even quit smoking.
If 2018 taught me anything it’s that sometimes you have to do what scares you to do what’s best for you. There is no rule book. You have to do it on your own.
Here’s to 2019. If it’s anything like my last couple months then bring it on.
Dear 16 year old me,
Posted on April 24, 2018
Music Farm holds a special place in my heart. As one of my favorite venues and a place where Ive met so many wonderful people..when I got the idea to take this photo today it was more to celebrate “hey, you’re doing okay!” because me years ago would never have guessed I’d be working here or graduating college. So, here’s a little letter to myself.
Dear 16 year old Hunter,
I know you’re at a place in your life where you don’t know what you’re going to do in life. I know your 17th birthday is next week and you’re getting your first tattoo after begging your mom for months. No, the peace sign on your foot barely counts. I know this year of high school got lost from you and you messed up by throwing in the towel and quitting. I know right now you’re questioning if you’ll graduate high school on time or get your GED. I know you’re kicking yourself in the ass because you left behind two AP classes. Well, heads up…you graduate on time and kick ass in the process. You work and attend ten classes your senior year, have a very full social life. Yeah, I said it. So don’t cry over the dirt bags. You meet a ton of new people over these next couple years who change your life for the better and you become a better you. You do have a hiccup your first year of college but you bounce back. Actually, you not only bounce back but you intern at your favorite news station and then intern at your favorite music venue and meet even more amazing people from both places. You also land a job that gets you stable and you’re pretty decent at it and meet more amazing people.
You may not believe me and that’s fine. You’re kind of a stubborn ass at the moment but you find your way. Future you is actually graduating college next week on our birthday. Even if we don’t do the standard college experience you make it your own and take your time and get things done. Along the way you will run into obstacles but you will grow and learn from those. You will lose people who mean the most to you but you also learn to adapt and accept that you can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like you. (I KNOW! WHO KNEW?!)
So, right now it’s okay to feel like a failure but I promise you one day things will be different and you’re going to look back on before and realize things do change.
Love,
Hunter 🖤
